By Joe Crollard and Jonathan Mitchell
We’re not going to lie, this column has grown increasingly inappropriate and juvenile. Many have expressed their support for the double and triple entendres but not everyone is a fan. One Peninsula Daily News critiquer called it “puerile.” So in order to punch up the maturity level we decided to take some suggestions from my five-year-old nephew, Aiden Johnson.
Johnson, who was originally to be portrayed as a cherub in a modified version of the logo, left, saw the most recent issue and was overjoyed at seeing his uncle, or “Unc” as he calls me, as both a peacock and a women. He loved it so much that he decided to pitch two future ideas.
The first was for me to be an octopus, left. Yes, I am aware that Squidward is a squid but it was close enough.
His second request was for “Unc in the trunk.” At first I thought he wanted my face on a well endowed badunkadunk. But, he clarified that he meant a picture of me in the trunk, right. The relief of having not turned my nephew into a pervert was quickly overrun by my fear that I may one day be bound and gagged in the trunk of a car by a five-year-old but I guess I kind of deserve it.
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Original image courtesy of the Spongebob Facebook. Editorial illustration by Jonathan Mitchell and Joe Crollard.
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—Trunk photo courtesy of wikimedia.org. Editorial illustration by Jonathan Mitchell
